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The awkward flappy dance


Dear Mrs MacPickle,

I have a very 2021 problem. I am no longer really sociable enough for level one or zero, never mind no restrictions. I can’t, for the life of me, think of fifteen people I even know anymore, let alone which of them I’d like to invite into my garden all at once. And there is absolutely no chance I would be up for sharing a meal with seven other people from three households or whatever.

I can’t even be bothered to count, never mind actually talk to people. I certainly don’t want to have to share all this lovely cheese and chocolate with anyone, and my online solitaire prowess might take a hit. Please advise – these jigsaw puzzles aren’t going to do themselves.

Yours sincerely,

Miss Anne Thruppy

I feel your pain. I certainly don’t have any desire to go within two metres of anyone at all and am already tired of the awkward ‘are-we-doing-hugs?’ flappy dance, which is like a hideous 21st century version of the Birdy Song, only less dignified.

And, while I can cope with the zoom meeting that could easily have been an email, I don’t think I will be able to do in person meetings in future… ever.

Please don’t worry though, there are no two people on earth responding to the current changes in the same way, and many things like politeness and nuance have gone out of the window, probably never to return.

So it’s okay to say no, to not turn up or to just not bother. It’s okay to get up and move when someone man-spreads or generally invades your personal space.

We are not going back to being far too busy or doing things we don’t want to do.

So, just embrace your cheese ‘n’ chocolate and jigsaw/solitaire. Or whatever else makes life bearable in this new world.

Got a prickly problem?
E-mail Mrs MacPickle at

I can’t even be bothered to count, never mind actually talk to people


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