“I don’t want to receive a ton of crap that will end up in landfill”


Posted by in December's Magazine

Mrs MacPickle Solves All Your Problems!

Dear Mrs MacPickle,

At risk of sounding like Leith’s answer to Ebenezer Scrooge, I really can’t be bothered with Christmas this year. I don’t want to spend a load of money I can’t afford on things people don’t want, and I don’t want to receive a ton of crap that will end up in landfill. I don’t want to consume 20,000 extra calories on things I don’t even like, such as chocolate brazils and stuffing, and if I even have to look at a Stollen ring I think I might cry. Is there any way of opting out?

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Nicholas Saint Jnr

Oh dear oh dear, 

I am sure you are not alone my friend. Many of us object to the consumerist merry go round that the festive season has become, but few of us have the confidence to opt out all together. 

My thoughts are this: you may not be able to do away with Christmas in one go but little by little you may be able to edge out of it a bit. Try just giving rubbish presents, a jar of pickle here, a fridge magnet there, and you may find you receive slightly less next year. 

Say no to food if you aren’t actually hungry; develop a new allergy so that you have to avoid marzipan in all forms, and, whatever happens, if anyone asks you if you would like a Pannetone decline with all the force you can muster. Within a couple of years your cupboards will be emptier and your wallet and waistline healthier. 

Good luck!

Mrs MacPickle

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