Protempore …

Posted by in July's Magazine

By the time you read this, we will know who our next Prime Minister is

As I’m writing, the “contest” is in full flow. What is at stake is the future economic prosperity of the country and for some, the United Kingdom as we currently know it. And then there’s Brexit. We still have to negotiate our way out of the morass that we currently find ourselves in and it will take someone with patience, tolerance and empathy to steer us to a deal with the EU. 

Leaving without a deal doesn’t bear thinking about because those who will almost certainly feel its impact will be those who can least afford it.  Therefore, at the very least, we’ll need someone who will do everything they can to protect the poorest and most vulnerable people in the country from an economic disaster they can ill afford. So who do we currently have trying to fill the post?    


In the blue corner, we have Jeremy Richard Streynsham Hunt. Mr Hunt was privately educated at Charterhouse boarding school, which currently charges £39,165 a year for the privilege. It counts amongst its alumni, Baron William Rees-Mogg, Jacob’s old man; Horace Geoffrey Quaritch Wales, adviser to Rama VI and Rama VII of Siam (no, I don’t know either); Sir Gervais Tennyson d’Eyncourt, Prime Warden of the Worshipful Company of Fishmongers; and Sir Garrard Tyrwhitt-Drake, who was the Mayor of Maidstone and a zoo keeper. Mr Hunt went on to study Politics, Philosophy and Economics at Oxford University. He is a multi-millionaire and a distant relation of that well-known German parasite, Queen Elizabeth II and the erstwhile British fascist, Sir Oswald Mosely. 

Right, you know where this is going.

In the even bluer corner, we have Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. Mr Johnson was privately educated at Eton College, which currently charges £38,730 a year for the privilege. Eton has produced nineteen Prime Ministers and counts amongst its alumni, Baron Edward Douglas Scott-Montagu; Baron Adrian Baillie Nottage Palmer; former Prime Minister, David Fucking Cameron; Nathaniel Philip Victor James Rothschild and Nirajan Bir Bikram Shah Dev, a prince of Nepal. Mr Johnson went on to study Literae Humaniores; of course he did, at Oxford University. He is a multi-millionaire and a distant relation of King George II.

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking that whichever of these two succeeds in becoming Prime Minister, neither of them will give a monkey’s chuff about the millions of people who have already been left behind by the ideological austerity programme which they both zealously voted for. And their recent pronouncements on the prospect of a no deal are terrifying. It’s become increasingly clear that all they are interested in in getting the top job at any cost. And that includes people losing their jobs.

In an interview with Andrew Marr, Hunt was asked how he would be able to look people in the eye and tell them that their factory was being sacrificed in order to achieve Brexit. He said he would do so “with a heavy heart.” Not quite as heavy as his fucking wallet but then, why should he care, it’s not as if him or his family are going to suffer when the country’s economy disappears down the toilet. 

And then there’s de Pfeffel. He’s already said that he will “get Brexit done at any cost.” What he means when he says that is, if the economy has to crash and burn and people who have been suffering for years take another massive hit as a result, then tough. And it’s not just these two charlatans who would willingly see the country go to the dogs.

A recent YouGov poll showed that a majority of Conservative party members (who will decide who the next PM is) said that they would be happy to see (a) a united Ireland; (b) an independent Scotland; and (c) the economy suffer a serious negative setback, as long as Brexit is delivered. 

Now anyone who knows me knows that I have long considered (a) and (b) to be absolutely crucial in ensuring my happiness as I totter into the late autumn of my years, but I certainly don’t want any of it to happen if it’s going to involve further impoverishment and despair for millions of people.

Who knows, maybe by the time you read this, our new PM will have united the country, brokered a deal with the EU, and everything will turn out okay. 

Thought not.

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