Wild Adventure & Not Fretting


Posted by in July's Magazine

Dear Mrs MacPickle

I find I have an unhealthy interest in the tall one on CBeebies, even though I am almost definitely old enough to be his mother and he really isn’t my type. Do you think I am spending too much time in female company?

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Yours,

Wishitwas Sunny

Dear Ms Sunny,

Lusting over Cbeebies presenters is an integral part of modern motherhood. I dare say it is even therapeutic. You would be surprised how many mums confess to a yearning for anyone from Mr Maker to Mr Tumble. I myself once had a raunchy dream about Chris from Show Me Show Me.

Children’s television presenters are designed, I believe, to be just the right amount of attractive to help us gently rediscover our sexualities after the trauma of childbirth.

You may idly admire your vertically advantaged heartthrob from afar; safe in the knowledge that he would never get you pregnant and make you go through all that again. In much the same way fourteen-year-olds lust over magazine pictures of One Direction, safe in the knowledge they will not have to face the unwholesome realities of actual penises and body hair. Enjoy your thoughts of Wild Adventure and fret not!

Info: Email your problem tp heather@leithermagazine.com

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