Mrs. MacPickle – 106

Posted by in April's Magazine

Dear Mrs MacPickle,
I have been talking to a psychoanalyst for five years now and I used to see him as a saviour, in contrast to my sister who has found a community of evangelical Christians. Yet my problems seem as insurmountable as before – perhaps they are simply more stark for being better understood – and I’m still lonely and unemployed. Should I stop looking for saviours?

Gary, 32



My dear Gary,

I am in no way an expert in psychoanalysis but I do know a fair bit about looking for saviours, indeed I have bounced between therapists and communities of evangelical Christians a fair bit in my time. Both seem to offer a lot of weak tea and nowhere near enough fags and booze for my taste. You get more insight from the former, but the chance of custard creams with the latter.

But seriously, my advice would be this: Decide whether you are looking for a hero or a saviour. Heroes are tempting, but their promise is generally illusory; they actually hold you back from the things you want in life because you end up waiting for them to swoop in and do it for you. Saviours on the other hand, if they really are saviours, are there to support you if you go for the things you want but balls it up.

They tend to be people who don’t where their pants on the outside of their trousers and rather than fix you, can help you see that you are already fixed.  And we can all use a bit of that, no harm in looking for them.

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