Starbucks Doesn’t Give A F***


Posted by to The Blog on October 20th

Starbuck’s has notched up billions of pounds in profits after 14 years of trading in the UK, yet for the past three years they have paid not a single cent in corporation tax. Given that the margin on each and every cup sold is notoriously high, how could this possibly be?

Clever accountancy, that’s how. You split your company into segments, and the UK segment then pays a massive royalty fee to another segment in a more tax friendly jurisdiction for the use of the whizzy intellectual property which is the Starbuck’s brand, and hey presto, you’ve got got a stonking loss to off-set!

You should try it sometime folks, all you struggling plumbers and scholars and musicians and schoolteachers and shop assistants out there. It’s a great wheeze. What’s not to like? Go for it – ring an accountant now!

It could of course be argued that such behaviour shows a certain disdain for the hard-pressed British taxpayer, in which case perhaps it’s time to redesign the Starbuck’s brand. With that in mind, our award winning agency has come up with a new look for your daily caffeine hit. A litle customer participation and a green felt-tip pen should do the trick.

And while you’re at it you can chuck away their dreary Seattle soup and replace it with a more wholesome American brand.

Anyone f’coff, eh?

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