Cramond Island Discs


Posted by in March's Magazine

Off to the Citadel Youth Centre for Chips, Tunes and Chatter, a sort of admixture of pop-up restaurant and Desert Island Discs (wittily rebranded Cramond Island Discs). Cost? A pro rata amount to cover the chef’s expenses, your correspondent gave a secret donation of 50 QUID. Fellow Leither scribe, Gordon Munro, was seen counting some coppers from his change.

The complimentary Mojitos that greeted us were mixed from a bottle of rum called, I swear, Strong Rum – surely not bootleg moonshine on council property Mr Barr? Notable absentees included Mr Tam Dean Burn who ‘could not be contacted’, no surprise there then, as he often can’t be contacted when he is standing right in front of you.

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The reassuring figure of (Mrs) Phil Attridge was behind the ‘all you can eat’ buffet. The last time I broke bread with him, he was hacking slices from a highly illegal Iberian ham haunch, smuggled into the country by veteran STV correspondent Bob “Dirty Digger” Cuddihy. Tonight he presided over a feast of West Indian tucker, ably assisted by Chef Carson. “Mind blowing, slavering, feasts of flavour,” it says in my, ahem, shakily written notes.

On the musical front, redoubtable mine host William Barr had a shocker. I seem to recall his choices being three different live versions of the anthemic rocker Freebird, the shortest of which came in at a whisker under 18 minutes. Meantime the politicos, Messrs Munro and Munn, vied for the unlikely title of ‘Coolest Councillor of the Evening’.  Munro attesting that he used to spend all his pocket money buying ‘bootleg albums’ (or illicit recordings, as Her Majesty’s Constabulary would have it. Expect a visit sir!). Whilst Munn’s edgy, “all the records in my local record shop were shite,” kept the contest simmering nicely. Munn sneaked it by playing a wondrous, jangly, – Postcard Records era – Orange Juice track, thus effortlessly aligning himself with ‘The Sound of Young Scotland’.

Dave Carson, one half of the legendary DJ duo Itchy & Scratchy – I don’t know which half but, as he’s the only one still with us, I’m assuming it’s the mouse – effortlessly won the ‘Coolest Playlist’ title by the simple expedient of playing three tunes no one had ever heard of.

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