Notes from The Editor – Issue 70


Posted by in November's Magazine

Take a look at the fellow on the right, don’t be alarmed gentle readers, it’s not a still from a porn version of Shirley Valentine nor indeed is it an early hirsute picture of that shaven headed Russian serial killer who murdered 50-odd people and then ate their testicles. Those of you who normally swoon over the (admittedly gorgeous) picture of the editor that usually occupies this space will be astonished to know that he and this ouzo swilling brute are one and the same person! I found this shocker on my desktop, where I keep it for the sake of general hilarity, and I offer it to you now to honour that fine charity Movember. Their guiding principle it is that a fellow must not shave his upper lip during the month of (you guessed it) November and that he must gather monies for Prostate Cancer whilst looking like a dick.

Okay that last may be a bit harsh, for a (scientifically proven) website states categorically that a chap with a moustache: appreciates quality; surrounds himself with the finest of everything; leads a valiant life, including solo adventure into unknown territories (that would be the Port o’ Leith) and recognises that one of the ‘best quality’ is better that a dozen mediocrities. Is all of the above not fully realised in that fine, noble, indeed profound, portrait to your left? I rest my case. He stands, our brooding colossus, at the head of a proud tradition that embraces the likes of Dali, Einstein, Nietzsche, Mr. Potato Head and that Ron Jeremy the fat 70s porn star. Moustachioed heroes all.

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A few more (absolutely true) titbits about the editor’s moustache: a moustache of this magnitude is capable of holding 10% of a pot of ale; its wearer is smarter and more educated; it acts as a Coat of Arms for his face, placing him in the higher echelons of polite society and, most importantly, a survey of 100,000 women conducted in 1988 found that moustachioed men proved to be superior lovers. So there you have it, the unvarnished truth, and over £2,000,000 (so far) raised for charity.

Info: You too can get involved at movemberfoundation.com.
Go on, do it for Ned Flanders.

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